if john mulaney was gay he’d be an almost perfect comedian. in the better timeline john mulaney is gay
the amount of people responding to this surprised he isnt gay only further proves this timeline isnt the right one and god made a big mistake
“I have a girlfriend now, uh, myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years. I think I was supposed to be gay. I think, like, in Heaven they built, like, three quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch, and they just sent me out and it was like, “You marked that one gay, right?” and it was like, “Oh no! Was I supposed to?” and they were like, “Oh man, well this’ll be a very interesting person. This’ll be a very silly person.”” - John Mulaney, New In Town
